Sandcastles and Band-Aids: Being a Mom to Twins

Posted by Elna on

Sandcastles and Band-aids: Being a Mom to Twins

My twins turned three this year and I’m still amazed I survived the first year!

I was up every 45 minutes for the first year of their lives. I was a zombie. I pumped milk every three hours around the clock. I changed about 40 diapers a day. When both babies cried, I struggled to hold them both at the same time.

But I survived!

My husband and I made the decision early on to move across the country to be closer to family because it takes a village to raise a family, right? We weren’t thriving when it was just the two of us. And you know what? It was the best decision ever.

With the support now, I was able to get my life in order and learn to be a mom, not just some milk-dispenser and pooper cleaner!

I’m a First Time Mom

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Taking care of my twins is the only thing I know about having children. All my preconceptions about motherhood went out the window.

I’d do chores when they slept

That lasted about a day. I became too exhausted or I had to pump. And then one twin would wake up after 20 minutes and wake up the other twin. And the cycle began of trying to put them down again.

I’d have activities every day

When my twins turned 2 I thought this was the year I would create a plan of activities. Sort of like a day care.

But, that soon disintegrated. Teething, diaper rash, potty training, tantrums, picky eating, chores and baby-proofing the house all took precedence. Oh, and sleep. They were finally sleeping through the night, which mean I could sleep!

I’d go to play groups and meet other moms

In the three years since having them, I’ve probably went to play groups about a dozen times. This is because I didn’t want my twins to get sick and well I wasn’t comfortable taking them out on my own.

I signed them up to music class and on the third outing, we all got the noro virus and me and the hubby were on our deathbeds practically! And I had to take care of vomiting twins.

So, yeah, I was hesitant to go to play groups after that!

Now that they are three – and I have more experience taking them out in public – I’ll be taking them out more, signing them up for activities and getting them ready for school the following year.

Mothering Three Year Old Twins

I’m amazed at how children grow. My background is in Psychology and child development. For most of my twenties I taught children with autism learn to speak, play, tell their moms that they loved them, and make friends.

So, when I see my twins spontaneously ask questions, or run up to me, hug me and say, “Mommy, I wuv you!” I’m simply amazed.

It would take years for children with autism to do such a task, and here are my twins, soaking up everything and growing like weeds.

Since I’m a first time mother, I’m pretty cautious. I have these thoughts of them falling and hurting themselves. If they run too fast on the asphalt or if they don’t hold on to the railing going down the stairs they could hurt themselves.

All these little things I never would have imagined plagued my mind every day.

So you can say, I may hover a bit more than other moms, because being a mom to twins is tricky at times.

But, if I want my children to flourish and grow up to be amazing little people, there comes a time where I have to loosen my grip, right?

Today we went to the park. Built sand castles. Played on the slides, swings, monkey bars, all the while I was cringing, worried they would hurt themselves.

“No, mommy, I’m a big boy. I can go up there.”

Yes, I know you are. But, I still think of you as a little one, son, and I’m just trying to protect you.

Another preconception I had was that as my twins grew, parenting would get easier.

But, it doesn’t.

It’s just different.

You have different worries and different lessons to teach at 1-years-old than at 3-years-old.

I’ve taken a big step today though. This is the week when we’ll take the rail off their cribs. They are three years and 5 months old. I know they’ve been ready for a while, I just wasn’t, until now.

Being Grateful

Mother’s day is approaching and it just reminds me of how grateful I am for what I have. While on a day-to-day basis taking care of twins and running a biz can be a challenge, over all, I love being a mom to twins.

Life goes by fast and I have to be mindful of that. That’s why I’m glad I have TwinsMommy. I can share some stories about what’s it like with twins and go back to old blog posts to re-live it all

On this Mother’s Day (or any day really), what will  you be grateful for?